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 in response to ekikaseven...   Thank you for your response...Tell me what you mean by trying new things. You see I do not have much money. I dont have hobbies. Not because of money. I have no passion to do anything. I am trying to say is that I lack inside passion. I need how to love me and thats the hardest thing. Like I said finding your most inner self,,, Does everyone love themselves. I would love to know the answer

 in response to 2000XII...   This might be an oxymoron. I do agree with everything you said. But here is my story. I beleive in God. I believe in the manifestation stories. I have been to workshops on them and have read some books. I am a extemly beautiful women - Who stands alone. I have all aquaintances in my life. No one to share my most inner thoughts with. If there was something to happen to me there would be no one for me to call. I stand alone. People have told me time and time again that I need to find my own happiness. I depend on others to make me happy. For example. Where I work, My boss is the most happiest person in the world. She makes me happy everyday. This whole week she will be away. Now I am not looking forward to working this week because its going to be very boring. I can not make myself happy. I have no inner me. If you know what I mean. I have been on an endless path of finding out how to make me happy. I have no hobbies. I go to work each day. Come home. Watch the news and go to bed. That is my whole week. The weekends I clean and get ready for the week ahead. I feel like I exist and do not live. That is my life. Any advise I will take it. Does anyone feel lost or lost themselves.
Sadly me

 in response to NewtoCaveCity...   I hope someone can help me with this and may make my sad days happy. I used to write to all of you that I wanted to die ( I did ) I lived in a room being dark and with my computer and never came out (unless for food and bathroom). Finally, I could not take it anymore because so, I started going on interviews and I got a great job with a wonderful boss. (I would never use the word wonderful) After I got the great job. I finally got an apartment and lived alone. At the age of 50 I lived
alone for the first time. I can't tell you enough what pure joy feels like for me.
Now I had this car 1997 pontiac that has 98,000 miles on it. It has a window that wont get up. Mechanic tried to fix....He can't do it. I have bad brakes, oil leakes, need 2 new tires, other things that I dont know about. The Car is ready to die. Now here is the real issue I live on SSD. My job is an easy one. I sit and get up when I need to. I could not possible stand and wait for a bus or stand on a bus.
My work money and SSD money take care of my rent and all other bills together. I need another used car. Does anyone know people that give a way cars. I heard on TV about people donating cars to the poor. Where do we get those cars. Does anyone know about those things. Once again thank you to everyone on here that got me through my great depression. You all were wonderful.

Since I go to so many places to help the poor. I really find it interesting that poor people are so more honesty, interesting, and have much more integrity, and are so humble then people who are rich and cocky, if you no what I mean. Right now, I am living with this man who is out of his mind. I hide in a room for fear of who he is going to be Mr. Jeckly or Mr. Hyde. Everyone is so worried about me, but I have no help. I have called more agencys than anyone here could imagine. Social services, Hud, Section 8 all closed where I lived and if one was opened there would be a 3 year waiting list. I don't have 3 years. I live in East Northport, NY. I am all alone, My friends all work and have good husbands. They cant and wont help me. Social services wont help me because they said I make to much money a month on Disability. I make 707 a month. I pay for car insurance 200 a month and a cell phone bill and thats not includinding anything else. The only people who care are the poor people, no one who is in power. I dont know how to get out of this situation. All of my furniture and life is in this mans house. If anyone knows me here I still want to die.

I live on ssd and I was reciving 822 a month. Now since I just got medicare. I have had medicade for past 2 years. They are now sending me 707 a month. I pay $700 a month in rent. I barely live as it is. I had to move in with a man now how is verbally abusive who forces me to do things everyday. I can't take it anymore, but if I was put in a shetler, I would kill myself. I feel that way now. I wish I had cancer, There is no one in the world to help me. So, many people waiting on lists for apatments. I am on a list for a 3 year waiting list. I will die first. This government does not help the disable people. They want us homless and suffering.... I just want to die. Does anyone else feel this way. I am in a closet now speaking. I will be back to get any answers, but I doubt anyone has any. I have asked so many people. all I hear is shelter, shelter... and all this lists........

 in response to CATLUV...   I would love to go back to school I was a school. I already have my BA, I was a teacher for 3 1/2 years. As I had a year in the masters program. My husband and I decided to move out to long Island and I became a stay at home mom. I have no regrets about that. I raised to gr8 kids. If I had to back and do my masters now. I could not do it. Because of my illness's I have very poor memory and a little of dislexia. I once worked at a bank and gave the customer 1000 too much and I got fired on the spot. I can teach. I can't take tests. Did you ever here of that. Now ,,,,all I want is a home for me and my boy. I dont know whats going to happen................The stress is making my illness rear its ugly head.....so just maybe god will take me I have lost the fight....I can't run after 79 job interviews,.......I am tired,, cya later...Thank you for thinking of me

 in response to SADLYME...   Dying would end all of my problems. I am truly tired of puting all this work and effort and I am not getting any results. I am also very sick. I have rehmoited arthritic, Fibromyalgia, I have a plate in my neck with pinched nerves in then which makes my hand numb and have buldging discs in my lower lumber. I can't keeping doing all this work. I have no help whatsoever. Its so sad that the computer is my friend. No one would care if I died. Like I said, I am not insane. I am just speaking out my truth. Good night everyone.......

 in response to HOPEFULGIRL...   Dear Angel Girl. I am a true believer in G-d I have been trying for the past month. I have gone interviews 5x a week and have been looking for a place to live. I have put the work in. I was told when You put the work in G-d comes in to help you with the rest. I have searched and researched. I do not know what else to do. I have no family and no friends. Thats why I said I rather die.
Trust me when I say, I am in perfect mind, sound, sould. I am not insane in anyway.
I have done everything I can to find work and an apartment to live. Maybe this is g-ds plan. Maybe I am not supposed to be here anymore. Thank you for what you had to say.
Sadlyme

 in response to ...   hOW DOES ONE TAKE A LOAN WHEN ONE DOES NOT HAVE THE MONEY TO PAY BACK. i ALSO LOVE HOW CELEBRITIES GIVE TO ALL THESE WONDERFUL FOUNDATIONS. (MILLIONS) WHY DO THEY NOT HELP THE POOR PEOPLE IN THERE OWN COUNTRY

I wish i GOT A FATAL DISEASE BECAUSE i AMONG THE MANY WILL BE HOMELESS IN 3 WEEKS. i LIVE ON DSS AND THE DEPARTMENT OFF SOCIAL SERVICES TOLD ME THAT i MAKE TOO MUCH MONEY A MONTH 822 IN ORDER FOR ME TO GET AN APARTMENT TO LIVE. i CANT FIND ONE...i WISH i WAS DEAD